It's not a nightmare
by ARedRedRose
Summary: After their first night together, John appears to be waking from a nightmare, and Sherlock is once again confused.


John lay quietly beside Sherlock. Sherlock was awake, he knew it, but making a feeble attempt to pretend to be asleep. He could almost see the cogs turning in the detective's brain. What was happening between him and John, he'd be thinking, what about Mary? The previous evening they'd allowed themselves a level of intimacy which they'd previously avoided between each other. John and Sherlock reaching out to each other, and getting caught up in each other's hands and mouths. Neither of them had intended to get in the way of John and Mary's marriage. In a strange way, John felt that none of this would. After all, there'd been a closeness between them long before Mary came on the scene. Mary was well aware of that, albeit that during the first two years of their relationship John was really something of a widower. John reflected on the way that Mary had accepted Sherlock's return so readily. While John initially grew angry and resentful at his return 'from the dead', Mary saw something completed in John, and allowed, or even enabled him to pick up the pieces of their relationship.

However that conversation panned out later with Mary (she'd know …), there was the more pressing matter of Sherlock Holmes. Mmmm. John closed his eyes and reflected on that. 'John, what are you doing?' called Sherlock's delicious voice. John startled. He had mentally been wandering down the firmness of Sherlock's abdomen, taking in his slim but muscular build… John opened his eyes to see Sherlock staring at him with a look of worry, concern.

'Your nightmares John, they're back. Look at the way you jumped when I spoke. You're sweating, your heart is clearly racing. I've seen you go through this so many times before John. When you first moved into the flat, you'd call out in the night, re-living the horrors of Afghanistan'. Sherlock paused, and began more slowly, 'Except, this time it's not Afghanistan in the nightmare, is it? It's me'.

Sherlock turned away and sat up on the edge of the bed before John could speak. He hung his head. 'I didn't mean …' he tried. 'I never meant …'.

Rubbish at anything emotional, thought John. He could look at Irene Adler in a purely sexual light and manipulate Janine for a case (well, she didn't exactly complain), but once there was a hint of emotional attachment, and, let's face it, there was more than a hint, he seemed to be rendered incapable.

'I know you can't do this John, I'll understand if you want to keep as far away from me as possible' Sherlock continued.

John reached out to grab Sherlock and pulled him back onto the bed. He leant over him. 'You just don't get it, do you?' he challenged. 'I mean, last night was great, but I'm not just about to walk away from you just because we've …' John struggled.

'Gone down on each other …?' Sherlock finished.

'Yes, I mean, no …'.

'Look John, this confuses the hell out of you. We over-stepped the line last night. As you used to keep telling everyone, you're not gay'.

Still leaning up on one elbow to get an advantage over Sherlock, John's resolve hardened. 'There's something I should tell you Sherlock. The racing pulse, the sweat on my brow – I wasn't having a nightmare – can't you deduce anything about yourself? - I was thinking about you!'

Sherlock looked blankly at John.

'For God's sake, you idiot, I was thinking about how much you turn me on!'

Before Sherlock had a chance to fully process the implications of that statement, John pressed his lips to Sherlock's and took his face in his hands. As Sherlock started to respond, John's aggression softened, and their kiss became more of a cuddle.

They lay comfortably together with neither saying a word for several minutes before Sherlock broke the companionable silence. 'John, if you really do find me so attractive, why didn't we do this a long time ago?'.

'I could ask you the same question' John responded. 'I could also ask why you left me thinking you were dead for two years, but we've done that conversation to death now. The fact is we have to deal with the circumstances we find ourselves in. You're not exactly Mr Normal are you, so we shouldn't be too surprised that we're in this situation.'

- **Hi love, hope you boys had a good night. Off to work now, back at 6pm. Cook me dinner? M x**

John reached over to his phone and read Mary's text message while Sherlock stretched back out on the bed. 'Talking of circumstances …' started Sherlock. 'Text her back John. Tell her that, yes, we had a good night, and that you love her. You do love her, don't you?'

'Very much'

'I'm so glad. And confused. Why are you not in a complete state about this John? I don't understand.'

John lay back beside Sherlock and exhaled slowly. 'I don't know' he began, 'I guess Mary has always known that we've been close. She knew that before we got married. She probably also spotted the sexual attraction before either of us did. In fact, I'd put money on it'.

John smirked. 'Speaking of sexual attraction, I'm not needed in surgery till this afternoon, and I'd very much like to pick up from where I left off in that nice dream I was having earlier'.

Sherlock grinned back …'and where was that exactly?' as John worked his hands slowly down Sherlock's still deliciously attractive abdomen.


End file.
